Would You Invite an Ex to Your Wedding?

Okay, so here’s the situation, and I’m fully bracing myself for judgment but I genuinely want to know what other people think.

I (29F) am getting married in a few months to my amazing fiancé (31M), who I love to pieces. We’ve been together for 4 years, live together, and have built a great life. He’s kind, thoughtful, funny… all that good stuff.

Now enter the potential problem. We’ll call him Justin.

Justin was my first real boyfriend. And I was his first real girlfriend. 

We dated off and on throughout high school, it was messy, emotional, and exactly what you'd expect from two teenagers who didn’t know how to communicate but thought they invented love. 

After we broke up for good, we stayed friends. And we’ve stayed friends. Like… actual, consistent friends. Not once-a-year-at-a-party friends. 

We’re in the same core friend group, we see each other pretty regularly, and we still talk one-on-one fairly often. Not in a weird way, just casual check-ins, funny stuff, the occasional deep life chat if one of us is going through it. He’s had a few girlfriends but is currently single.

And for me, there are zero feelings. No tension, no lingering “what ifs.” It’s genuinely platonic now, and has been for a long time. I think of him the way you’d think of a really close childhood friend who just… never faded away.

So when I started drafting our guest list, it didn’t even occur to me that inviting Justin would be a thing. But when I mentioned it to my fiancé, he got visibly uncomfortable. 

He didn’t forbid it or make it a huge deal, but he said something like, “I know you guys are cool now, but I don’t love the idea of someone you used to hook up with watching us get married.”

I understand where he’s coming from. I do. It’s our wedding day and it should feel good for both of us.

But at the same time, it kind of sucks to think I’d have to exclude someone who’s been in my life for 15+ years just because we were dumb teenagers once. Especially when there’s nothing shady happening now, and I’ve been 100% honest about everything.

So here’s my question:

Would you invite an ex to your wedding if you were still genuinely good friends? Or is that just a line you don’t cross?

Not saying he has an agenda, but if he’s really that over you, why is he always available? Still single, still around? Sounds like he might still be waiting for his opportunity.

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