WIBTAH if I said the wife and kids of my fiancés groomsmen cannot come to our wedding?

I have a dilemma and need some advice, my friends are a little split. My fiancé (27m) (for the sake of this ill refer to him as Toby) and I (27f) are getting married next year (yay and finally XD). My issue is, turns out Toby's best mate married someone I went to high school with ("Laurel"), and they have 2 kids. I don't have an issue if Toby wants him as a groomsman, however I don't want Laurel at my wedding. She wasn't necessarily a bully to me, but made some horrible comments and created a lot of drama for me. The comment that Laurel made that I could never move on from or forgive was, for sake of context, "Who cares that your mum has MS, I hope she dies from it.". At that point in my life my mum had been having a few MS attacks in a short time and was hospitalised for 2 weeks because one was that bad. MS for those that don't know is Multiple Sclerosis.

I know that it can be a controversial issue with guestlists at weddings, and in excluding specific partners. But I don't want her there and don't want my mother to have to be in the same room with her also. I know it has been a long time and some say I should just forgive and forget, but I have a hard time with this particular issue and person. But Toby's mate doesn't know more than Toby's family at the wedding and I don't want him to have to be uncomfortable not really knowing anyone. Also for reference we aren't going to have a huge wedding, under 100 people.

So WIBTAH if I specifically exclude Laurel from coming?

Ooof, tough one. I wouldn’t want her there either, someone like that doesn’t deserve to celebrate with you. Sorry you’re in this position - I think NTA because what she said about your mother is truly disgusting, and not something that can be “forgiven and forgotten” without a sincere apology. I hope your fiancé has your back, even though he is in an uncomfortable position as well.

I wonder what the groomsman would think of his wife’s comment…

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