Not asked to be in the bridal party of my life-long best friend?

Hello.

I am 26 and have been best friends (I thought) with a girl since middle school. We were inseparable most of our lives. Were on the same sports team, slept over at each others houses almost every weekend, did college visits together and nearly went to the same one. When we didn’t, we would travel once a year to visit and stay at each other’s dorms. I threw her surprise birthday parties and she and I did all our major events together. She came to my close family member’s funeral recently and similar. We have talked EVERY DAY for the last decade, even when living states apart.

She got engaged to a guy I helped set her up with in high school. Their first kiss was in front of my house after a party I threw. We went to prom together as double dates.

They stayed together and recently got engaged. I kept up with the wedding planning, offering to help and stuff. She offhandedly mentioned at the beginning how she wanted to keep things small and her sisters were just going to be her bridesmaids (she has 3). I was bummed but that made sense to me.

Her sister invited me to this bachelorette trip. I took off work and spent money to fly across the country for it. I offered to help and stuff too. I get here and it’s her sisters and her friends from college. The vibes were so weird off the bat. The college friends barely acknowledged me. They seemed to just want to reminisce on their memories, which I get. But when I would mention things to my friend in front of them, she would say “Oh i don’t really remember that…” and quickly change the topic back to the others, almost like she was embarrassed? I kinda brushed it off, because me and her talk a lot and she hasn’t seen these other girls for a couple years since college. Also several of them recently got engaged so I thought maybe they have more in common right now or something.

But then the last night of the trip I come to find out everyone invited on this bach trip is in the wedding party except for me. I was shocked.

I was clearly upset about it, but didn’t want to ruin the time for my friend. Tonight she came to my room to talk about it. She said originally she wanted to just have her sisters but her “mom convinced her to ask her college friends” and she wanted to ask me but then the bridal party would be too big for her.

I said I felt so hurt because our friendship was so important to me and to be honest if I get married I always imagined her as my maid of honor. She said I am 100% her best friend and that she is sorry I felt left out on the trip and that she loves me and I know her so much better and longer than the other girls She kept saying she’s sorry and that I hope she knows I am so important to her.

I said that i’m not upset and it’s fine, because we were quite literally cutting into her time while everyone was upstairs drinking and having a good time. Moreover, I felt confused and shitty for being jealous. Obviously I am not expecting her to change any plans but I’m devastated and don’t know how to process this? Can anyone give thoughts?

EDIT to add: The feelings are so fresh (I’m literally still on the trip) but right now I don’t even feel like going to the wedding. Which is INSANE given how close we are but I’m so hurt by this.

Oh. Oh that’s really sad. Your friend could’ve stood up for you but she made a choice. Let that information guide you in the future.

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