My dad won’t come to my wedding unless I invite his mistress.

My wedding’s in October, and I could really use some honest advice. This whole situation has been messing with my head.

A few weeks ago, I sent out Save the Dates. One went to my dad, just addressed to him. He recently got married to the woman he had an affair with while he was still with my mom.

He kept the relationship a secret for years. It started when I was in high school. I’m 26 now.

I’ve stayed polite for the sake of keeping some connection with my dad. I only see her maybe once or twice a year at a birthday dinner or holiday. She’s always nice on the surface and I keep things civil too.

But behind the scenes, she’s controlling, fake, and just bad energy. Most of the family doesn’t really accept their relationship, and they’ve kind of drifted from everyone.

When they got married a few weeks ago, barely anyone said anything. No celebration. Just silence.

Then after my dad got the Save the Date, he called me and said:

"Just confirming, my wife is invited too, right?"

I told him the truth and said that I’ve been on the fence.

He paused and then said:

"Well, she’s my wife now. You really need to think about this, because if that’s how you’re going to be, I might not even come."

Then he hung up.

No follow-up. Nothing.

My mom told me to do whatever feels right. She said she’d support me either way and reminded me not to force myself to be okay with something just to keep things calm.

I’m walking myself down the aisle. That moment is mine. But I really did want my dad there. I just didn’t want her.

So now I’m stuck. Do I invite someone who was part of something that tore my family apart, just to keep the peace? Or do I stick to what I feel is right and risk my dad not coming at all?

What would you do?

“She’s my wife now” Congrats on making the mistress legal. Still not your problem.

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