I got engaged first, but now my sister’s planning her wedding two months before mine

I got engaged three months ago and we’ve been planning a wedding for August 2026. We’ve already booked the venue, hired a photographer, and started locking in the rest of the details.

My parents offered to help cover the majority of the costs, which I appreciate so much. But obviously it’s not gonna be cheap.

For context, we’re a full Italian family. So weddings are a thing. Big. Traditional. Emotional. And everyone has an opinion. There’s always been a pressure to do it right, include everyone, and make sure it looks perfect from the outside.

Then three weeks ago, my older sister got engaged. And now, she’s suddenly planning her wedding for June 2026. Two months before mine.

Her fiancé’s reasoning? He wants his grandparents to be at the wedding “while they still can.” It sounds sweet, but my sister has never mentioned anything about any health conditions, so I’m not sure where this is coming from?

And look, I get wanting them there. But it’s not like I’m getting married years from now. We’re talking about a two-month difference. It just feels weirdly convenient.

And now she’s suddenly interested in everything I’ve already done. She’s asking about the same venue I booked. She’s asking around about the same vendors I’ve been working with. 

She even followed the makeup artist I posted about on Instagram and started liking all her stuff. And somehow I’m the one getting asked to “be flexible.

My parents, who are already helping with mine, are now trying to figure out how to help with hers too. And they’ve hinted (more than once) that maybe I could scale back or shift things around just a bit. Which honestly feels like a slap in the face.

I don’t wanna sound ungrateful for my parents helping pay. But I’ve spent the last three months planning a wedding I was genuinely excited about. 

And now, I feel like I’m constantly looking over my shoulder. Every time I move forward with something, she suddenly wants to do the same thing, but faster. And somehow, I’m the one being told to compromise.

It’s not even about the wedding anymore. It’s the constant need to one-up me. She’s older, so she thinks she’s supposed to go first.

And no one’s saying it out loud, but it’s obvious.

Is it that hard to let me have my moment?

I’d be petty as hell. show up to her wedding in white and start handing out your save the dates.

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