Best Friend is getting married, and she is furious at me … AND! I don’t know why

My closest friend of a few years is getting married soon. She’s asked me to be her Maid of Honor. Super down! I’ve been talking to her about her wedding, asking what she needs, offering to help with XYZ…

Here’s (her) kicker … she’s getting married at a bar where I used to work. The owner (who used to be my boss) is going to be there. Despite the fact that I no longer enjoy being at that bar or interacting with that owner, it’s not my wedding! You do you, girl! I gotchyu!

But she is convinced that I am having a hard time with this wedding plan(despite my literally saying “I love you, I support you, I will do whatever you need, or if for some reason I can’t, I’ll say so.)

She recently stopped talking to me for two weeks, and when I reached out to her to ask if she was okay, she said “I need to talk to you. But I’m scared. But I need to do it in person. But it’s very scary bc I don’t know how you’ll react. Let’s plan a day in the future where we can talk about this.”

And that “I need to tell you but I can’t” went on for a while, until I said “I think I just need you to tell me now? Just give it to me straight bc I’m very confused.”

And, dear reader, SHE DID tell me! But only after saying she was FURIOUS she had to “take care” of me because of my anxiety (which I do not have. Not an anxious person.)

Would you like to know what the big news was? The owner is officiating. And she was terrified to tell me.

And I have no problem with it. But she is still mad at me. Because I’m not understanding why this was such a big deal for her.

Her last message to me was a voice note literally SHOUTING saying “YOU DON’T GET IT ! I’M PULLING BACK THE CURTAIN!! DO YOU WANT THIS FRIENDSHIP?”

And… she’s right. I don’t get it, and I don’t understand what I’m supposed to be doing. It feels very big and very left field to me.

I think she has some emotional expectation of me that I can’t possibly meet, and I think it has to do with not being helped by her parents re: wedding / I think she’s taking it out on me.

Have you ever been shouted at by a friend out of left field?? What would/did you do?? What is going on??

Something kind of like this happened to me. my best friend i think feels more responsible for my well-being then I have ever asked or expected her to be, and is way more worried about my possible emotional reactions than I am. And then she resents that she feels responsible for all of this, which is totally fair, but she also blames me for that, which is not fair because I have been incredibly clear and consistent. sometimes people mythologize you in a way that isn't accurate, and there's often not much you can do about it. space tends to help the most.

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