AITA for Not Making My Friend a Bridesmaid?
She told everyone she was a bridesmaid. I was never going to ask her.


AITA for Not Making My Friend a Bridesmaid?
I’m getting married next spring. I have a friend group of 10 girls from college. We’ve all stayed pretty close, birthdays, group chats, occasional trips, so obviously some of them assumed they'd be in the wedding.
I decided early on that I only wanted a small bridal party. My sister is my maid of honor and I picked 3 bridesmaids from the college group, the ones I’m closest to now and actually talk to regularly.
That’s four total in the wedding party.
Well. Enter "Maddie."
Maddie’s part of the group but we’ve never been that close. She’s loud, always involved in some drama, and kind of has this thing where she makes herself the center of everything.
We’re not enemies or anything, but we’re not texting on the side or calling each other ever. She’s just… part of the group.
So I was surprised when one of the other girls texted me and said, “Omg I didn’t know Maddie was one of your bridesmaids!! So exciting!”
Uhhhh. She’s not.
I figured maybe she misunderstood. But then I saw a comment Maddie made under my engagement post that said:
“Can’t wait to stand beside you on your big day ❤️💍”
I thought maybe she’s just excited and doesn’t mean it literally.
Nope. She meant it literally.
Apparently she told all of the girls she was a bridesmaid. Then her mom messaged me on Instagram and said, “Maddie’s so happy to be part of your wedding. She’s already planning her dress and everything!”
How do you even respond to that??
So I texted Maddie and told her nicely that I hadn’t asked anyone to be in my wedding party yet but am planning on keeping the wedding party small, just my sister and three friends.
She replies with:
“Wow. Okay. I just assumed because I’ve been there for you through everything.”
Through what? We’ve never had a real one-on-one hangout. What “everything” is she referring to?
She didn’t take it well. She left the group chat, then posted this an Instagram story that said,
“Funny how quick people switch up when it’s no longer about them.”
Then she told people I blindsided her and “used her friendship until she wasn’t convenient anymore.”
Like. Be serious.
Now a couple girls in the group are saying maybe I could’ve just “made space” for her to avoid the drama. But that just feels weird.
Not trying to be rude here, but as the bride I feel I should be able to choose my wedding party lol.
Honestly though. Am I the asshole for not making Maddie a bridesmaid even though she just decided she was one without asking?


Next time just let everyone know you’ll be drawing names out of a hat for your wedding party. apparently that’s how it works now.
Who’s actually the problem here? |

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