A list of my FIL’s freakouts

My wedding:

• He woke my husband up on our wedding day screaming to make him bring his sister and her fiance breakfast in bed

• Held my husband's suit, tie, and shoes hostage until they could have "a talk" about how much of a jerk he was being by not centering his mother on his big day

• Cursed out my bridesman because he forgot to get suitable shoes (my dad just asked what size he was and bought them. FIL was amazed that my dad didnt flay my friend alive and still talks to this day about how patient my dad is and what an astonishing feat to not scream about someone else's incompetence).

• Made stink face in every candid

• Generally unpleasant around my family and cringed every time they were actively partying it up (why the fuck do you think we spent so much money on the wedding-- to make sure everyone would have a fuckin blast. I'm glad my family loved it and let loose)

My SILs wedding:

• Held my husbands shoes, tie, and suit hostage again

• On the flight down (it was in mexico) he rearranged the overhead bins to make sure his suit lay flat and refused to listen to the stewardesses when they told him to stop, then kept cursing about how there's no common courtesy for customers these days, etc (my husband loudly just said, "dad, shut the fuck up, no one wants to hear it" and his dad responded louder, "no, YOU shut the fuck up")

• Oh yeah, in the entryway to the airplane, like the DOOR to the airplane, he opened up his luggage and decided to re-pack everything with no regard for anyone around him trying to board the plane or the flight personnel telling him that this was not the time or place to do that (he had also done it in the airport entrance itself trying to make his checked bag lighter. He demanded we open our luggage to put his extra stuff in but we had already checked our bags and he was FUMING)

• Was generally such an asshole at the airport that one of the airport staff apologized to me for having to travel with him

• Made racist jokes in front of the receptionist at the hotel (I finally said something which was, "now why would you think that was an appropriate thing to say" but my husband just shouted, "dad what the fuck is wrong with you")

• Demanded to be in charge of my husband's clothes for the wedding but brought the wrong shoes so he fucked it up this time. blamed my husband for not double checking.

• Was the most pleasant person ever during the wedding, even got up to make an impromptu speech about how amazing his son in law and his daughter are, cried happy tears, etc. It was such a stark contrast to his attitude on our wedding that deeply hurt both husband and I.

Bonus for our engagement party:

• Claimed he spent $30k on it (he did not. He spent $30k doing very unnecessary cosmetic upgrades to the outside of the house since they were hosting. no one noticed.)

• Got catering from a place that had mostly stuff I could not eat. I was given a paper plate of 4 pieces of cold shrimp scampi.

• This one was his mom, but she made me lead everyone in singing happy birthday to her friend and give her a cake during the engagement party

There was more but these were the highlights.

Please keep going. This is legitimately hilarious. I almost did a spit take when I got to the second hostage situation with your husband's outfit.

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